Distant Love A Snow Rose
by Akatsuki Red
Summary: Ulquiorra loves her, but she will never see him - never know him, and it breaks his heart to think of it. A continuation of Distant Love. UlquiXOC. Rated Teen for later chapters language
1. The Icy Roads

Being Aizen's favourite Espada had it uses. He was free to go where he pleased when he wanted to. However, there was really only one place to go – the Human world. There were other dimensions he could visit, but they were too dangerous for even the fourth Espada to wander on his own. The human world was pleasant because he could go whenever he wanted without being stopped by anyone. Other than that it was a rather boring place.

Today, he was walking through the busy winters streets with Grimmjow. He hadn't wanted such a lowly Espada to accompany him, but they were Aizen's orders and not something to be disobeyed. The streets were covered in a thick layer of ice. It was unnoticeable until Grimmjow found himself sitting on the icy streets after slipping over on the invisible hazard. He sat on the cold, frosty ground for a moment – dazed and confused. Ulquiorra looked back, his face bearing the usual emotionless mask. They were in their soul forms and so no one could see this silent moment. Ulquiorra had several thoughts about what Grimmjow was and resembled, but kept them to himself because he did not take part in vulgar activities such as swearing. The mournful Espada turned his back on his electric blue haired companion that sat behind him. It was the moment that he stood up that she walked past. Her chestnut hair floated behind her as she galloped delicately across the icy pavement. She fell victim to the hands of the ice as it pulled her legs down, her knees crashing into her captor, cracking it as she landed majestically. Ulquiorra didn't pay any attention to the girl as she stood up shakily, a crimson liquid streaming idly from her knee and into her previously white socks. She didn't seem to notice her bloodied leg as she picked up her bag and continued her journey. Grimmjow peered after her, ducking his head slightly.

"They make school uniforms so well!" He purred. Ulquiorra felt slightly disgusted by Grimmjow's comment and continued on his endless travel t an unknown destination. As the two men walked, Grimmjow kept a careful eye on the ice, his teeth bared. No way was he going to fall again. Ulquiorra felt that Grimmjow looked slightly unstable as they drifted along the packed streets.

"She was a babe, wasn't she?" Grimmjow stated as they came to a less icy part of the street. The slim, pale Espada did not reply. Human were not attractive. They never had been. Even when he was alive they had shown nothing but cruelty towards him. His eyes softened for a moment and then became emotionless once more as he realized what he was doing.


	2. Fear, Nightmares and recurring dreams

**Okay, I know, super short chapter! I'm really sorry and I promise they will get longer! Please do enjoy this new chapter of Snow Rose ^^**

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Sleep. Ulquiorra hated it. Dreams were something he hated even more. They infected his thoughts with eternal nightmares that cursed his very existence. They conjured images from his human life that he would rather forget. The screams and scent of burning flesh intoxicated his nostrils as he tried desperately to escape the sight of blood. They o longer caused him to wake up screaming or drenched in cold, sticky sweat. He was so used to the fearful feelings that it no longer bothered his conscious self. After all they were his memories and parts of his life. It annoyed him that his dreams showed him all the parts where his life went wrong – all the pain and sadness swirling together to form a deep and unhappy pit of emotion.

He was awakened from his torturous dream by a loud banging on his door. Irksomely he removed his plain covers and dressed in his Espada uniform – ignoring the banging that was echoing through his bedroom. Eventually, when he felt ready, he opened his door to reveal an annoyed muscular man. Ulquiorra's cold, green eyes watched his face.

"Took you long enough." Grimmjow growled.

"What do you want, Trash?" Ulquiorra inquired.

"I spoke to Aizen last night, right," Grimmjow grinned widely, "and he said that I can come to the human world with you again!" Grimmjow jumped excitedly as he remembered something else, "It's snowing there today, and Syzal was telling me about this!" The blue haired Espada held out a hand drawn picture of a snowman with a large black top hat and little coal eyes with a pointed nose. Ulquiorra simply walked past the over excited Espada and down the insanely white walls and into a large room filled with many coloured doors, Grimmjow trotting behind him. This room was where Espada went when they wanted to travel. It used to be a room filled with gaping black holes that seemed endless, but Aizen had decided to give the room a little more pzazz and so had introduced coloured doors. The only Espada who had really taken to this idea was Syzal, other than that they couldn't care less. The pale Espada reached into an intricately decorated gold plated box to pick out the correct key for the door leading to the human world. He placed the large silver key into the purple door and turned it gently until it gave an approving click and swung open to reveal the illuminated path to the human world, the darkness around it seemed to swallow the air around them, suffocating them as they entered the hole and began the short journey to the human world.


	3. Looking through

**Thank you Maylavender for inspiring me to continue with this. I apologise for the length, and I promise after all the college work this week I shall update with a longer chapter :)**

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It was late afternoon when they reached the human world. Most people were pushing past each other in a desperate attempt to get home in time for the daily soaps so that they could immerse themselves in a life that was different to their own. They're faces were filled with aggression and anxiety, and Ulqiorra knew that hidden behind that was feeling of bottomless emptiness – as though something important was missing from their already monotonous and stressful lives. It had snowed heavily again over night and so the ice had been buried by proud white snow which was now being trampled into the cement. That very morning it had been the object of desire for every child, and now that evening had come no one wanted it anymore. _Just like me_, Ulqiorra thought bitterly as he watched each new shoeprint make its mark and brand the snow as a casual footpath. He hissed as he felt something icy cold hit the back of his neck. Turning around he saw a grinning Grimmjow, his cat-like teeth clamped together as he stood in front of the Fourth Espada, his hand wet from the snow he'd just thrown at his superior. Ulqiorra felt a nerve in his face twitch as he tries to calm himself and remain indifferent to the actions of this fool. It was then that he noticed something else.

"Grimmjow. Why are you in a gigai?" There was a small hint of surprise in his monotone voice.

"Why? Well...um...it would sound really stupid if I told you..."

"Tell me." The Fourth Espada growled, ignoring the clear embarrassment in Grimmjow's voice.

"I, ur. I never got to see snow when I was alive. I...I was locked away for a long time." Grimmjow let his eyes drift to the ground as if he were hiding his expression. Ulqiorra remained indifferent to his subordinate's response.

"Take it off." He ordered. Sulkily, Grimmjow disposed of his gigai and after hiding it deep inside an old dumpster he rejoined his companion, eyes on the ground, shoulders slumped forwards in defeat. He trailed behind Ulqiorra aimlessly as they walked through the slowly thinning crowds and towards the unknown destination. It was then that she appeared again. Her brown hair was stuck to her face where a wet snowball had hit her, and her small nose was tinted with red from the severe cold. Each hair on her bare arms was raised in an attempt to preserve heat and her slender legs were shaking violently. She had stopped in front of Ulqiorra and was staring at him, as though she were looking into his emerald eyes. The Espada found himself frozen in place, captured by the young woman who stood before him, looking as though she could see who he was, as though she knew every detail and felt every pain. Ulqiorra's hand began to reach for her, but he stopped it, suppressed the desire to reach out and hold her. He had never felt this before. Never had he wanted anything so badly as he wanted her. He could not explain this feeling to himself, let alone the man who was slouched behind him. His lips parted as though to speak - address the stranger who stood here now. It was at that point she crouched down and wrapped her slender fingers around a discarded flower. A white rose. Gently, she picked it up, and , bowing her head down walked on, through Ulqiorra as though he did not exist. Of course she had not seen him – no one ever would.


	4. Akane

**Apologies again for the late update - final exams for college. Thank you to all who pestered me - it paid off ;)**

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"I'm going back." Ulquiorra growled as he stormed past where the woman had once stood. A strange feeling of warmth was spreading through his chest. His hand raced to it, holding it in a protective embrace - perhaps he was sick. Fear spread through his eyes for a brief moment as he wondered whether or not Espada could become ill, but he pushed the thought aside, cursing his foolishness. He turned back, wondering why he couldn't feel Grimmjow following him, only to find that he had sat on the sidewalk and was staring at the white snow that covered the ground.  
"What are you doing, you fool?" Ulquiorra growled, his voice low.  
"I...don't want to leave yet." The blue haired Espada looked up, his eyes filled with sadness. "I want to experience winter. I want to know what it's like. You can go, but I'm staying...just a little while longer." Grimmjow allowed his eyes to return the the snow as he began to trace his fingers in the cold, icy substance that surrounded him. A small smile crept onto his lips and he barely noticed his companion curse under his breath before continuing back to Hueco Mundo.  
"I don't know why you're so eager to stay."  
"Why are you so eager to go back?" At these words he fourth Espada froze. Why did he want to go back? Why was he even here in the first place? It couldn't be because of that girl, that was ridiculous. shaking his head he walked forward and would have laughed at his thoughts if only he were able. His pace was slow as the left Grimmjow sitting in the snow.

*****

Akane raced home, a white rose twisted through her slender fingers. It was cold today, and she wasn't a huge fan of freezing weather. The rest of her class at school were wearing the winter uniform, but she didn't have the momey to purchase one, and so she had to suffer the icy temperatures each and every day. Her knees smashed together violently as cold tremors ran up her body and she clenched her teeth to prevent them from chattering. As she ran her eyes ventured town to the rose that she held protectively in her hand. She had been surprised to find it lying on the ground, it was such a beautiful flower its petals overlapping ever so slightly, the thorned stem didn't dare to prick her skin as it embraced her. Akane sighed as she appraoched her house, a tiny cottage at the end of a road of bungalows occupied by the elderly. Recently, she had the feeling that she was being watched. The past day or so on her way back from school a strange sensation had filled her, chilled her blood, but not in an unpleasent way. She wondered what it was that caught her attention, somehow it felt friendly, warm...no. She was thinking foolish things again. Her father had told her to stop wandering in the world that rested in her mind, one filled with adventures and ancient castles. She had better prevent herself from falling into her mind before she got home - she couldn't handle being yelled at today.

As she appraoched her door she fumbled for her key in the small pocket she had stitched onto her skirt. With a frustrated mumble she finally removed the key and turned it in the lock, opening the wooden door to the welcoming smell of ramen, her mother must be home.

Outside her house stood a dark shadow. However, it did not bring any ill wishes or discontent with it. Its dark hand rested against the rought and broken bark on the trunk of an old tree. The ageless eyes stared perplexdly at the young woman who entered the little house. a deep sigh could be heard running with the wind as the door closed and the shadow was locked out.


	5. I want to die

**Look howfast this update was in comparison to the others! I think this may become a habit /eyebrow wiggle. Please enjoy this chapter!**

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Akane entered her house and set her schoolbag neatly by the front door. She brushed the snow and ice from her shes and onto the mat that stood before the wooden floors. Once her shoes were clean, the girl removed them and placed the beside the bag before picking up the rucksack and dashing to her room upstairs where she would be able to begin her homework. She didn't bother to greet her mother, she would no doubt say hello once dinner was served and ready to eat. The white rose was still in her hand as she scoured her room in search of a jar to fill with water in order to keep it alive. Eventually, she found a small jam-jar that had once contained various sweets from a local fair and, unscrewing the lid she placed the flower inside before walking carefully to the bathroom - to ensure the flower did not fall from the jar - so that she could use the tap to fill it with water. Once the task was completed, Akane returned to her room and placed the jar on her little wooden desk so that she could admire the beautiful rose whilst she worked. Smiling, the girl sat on the desk chair and pulled her books from her bag, along with a white pen so that she could complete her Spanish homework - a subject that she excelled in. she hummed quietly as she worked, translating various texts and completing interesting verbal exercises as the smell of ramen grew stronger. She could not see the man who sat outside her window, floating in the air. The man with pale skin and emeral eyes. Ulquiorra was so intrigued by this girl that he wasn't even thinking about what he was doing - something rather unusual for him. He wondered what it would be like to touch her hair, to smell her skin...touch it. It was almost as though he was starting to feel emotion, and so far he was not opposed to this new sensation. Perhaps he could use her as some sort of natural experiment to record the behaviour of regular humans. Ulquiorra shook his head - what was he thinking? This woman was human, something he despised and there was no chance of him ever feeling anything other than distase towards humans. The very idea that he had started to feel any sort of emotion made him sick to is stomach - such a display of weakness! His eyes narrowed as he observed her finish her sentence and jog downstairs, presumably for dinner. Idly, Ulquiorra followed her down from outside the house and settled outside the dining room window, curious to see how the family interacted...

Akane sighed as she was called for dinner, she jogged down the stairs purely because she was hungry. Her mother, father and sister were all seated at their Western dining table - that Akane hated - bowls of ramen standing, steaming before them.  
"Come sit down, Akane." Her father ordered gruffly. The youngest daughter did as she was told and sat at the table, picking her chopsticks up delicately. She wasn't surprised to see her parents and older sister using forks - they had a slight obsession with the Western world.  
"You haven't said hello to us yet, dear." Her mother noted, her tone almost irritated.  
"I had homework."  
"Still, it's only polite to come and say hello." Her mother looked at the chopsticks Alane was using and sighed, "Akane, must you use those primitive objects?"  
"They're not primitive." Akane growled. "They represent the place I was born. Here. Japan."  
"Silly girl." Her mother and father laughed mockingly. "You may have been born here, but you live with a Western family. You must abide by our customs."  
"Then why put the chosticks and the fork out for me?" Akane glared at her adoptive parents. They insisted she call them 'mother', 'father' and 'sister'.  
"A test, child." Her father stated coldly. "You failed. You can go to be without dinner." He stared the adopted child down until she became uncomfortable and left the table, muttering under her breath.

Outside, Ulquiorra watched and heard the conversation. It surprised him how poorly the girl seemed to get on with her family, and wanting to know more he followed her back upstairs. He moved back from the window a little when he saw her crying into the pillow on her plain bed. Crying was such a weak and unattractive emotion. He had never approved of it, and it caused Ulquiorra's eyes to narrow in distain.  
"I hate them." He heard her mutter from his position on the other side of the glass. "I hate them." She repeated, and again, the fourth Espada was taken by surprise at her statement. He didn't realize that families could get on so poorly. He knew that humans often disliked each other and that they were manipulaive creatures, but he had always been told that families were very close.  
"I didn't want them to adopt me." She sobbed quietly, her crying becoming heavier by the minute.  
"Crying is weak." Ulquiorra found himself speaking out loud, but he knew that she couldn't hear him. It made him wonder why he had just spoken.  
"I want to leave this place. I want to die." at those words she spoke, Ulquiorra recoiled, shocked and taken aback by what she had just said. Any human who knew what happened to so many lost soul would not wish so hastily for their departure from this world. His lips curled back in utter distaste as he started to lose interest in the woman. Such disregard for life infuriated him. slowly, he made his way back towards his current home in Hueco Mundo. He seemed to be visiting the human world a lot lately. It wouldprobably be best to stop coming back for a while...before people started to get suspicious as to why he had been visiting so occassionally without official business. After all, his original plan was to return.

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**Oh, Akane, you silly, silly girl...**


	6. Grimmjow

**Two updates in one day? I'm on a roll, baby**

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"Ulquiorra, have you seen Grimmjow?" Aizen asked early the next morning, his face creased in a frown as he looked up at the fourth Espada.  
"No. He wanted to stay behind and play in the snow yesterday." Ulquiorra spoke as if there was a bitter taste in his mouth.  
"Could you go find him? As sweet as it is that he wishes to frolic in the snow, I need him here." Aizen smiled his usual, creepy smile.  
"Yes, Aizen-sama." Ulquiorra bowed respectufully before turning his back and travelling to the portal room in search of Grimmjow.

Grimmjow sat sullenly on the pavement, he had built seven snowmen, made fifteen snow angles and had a snowball fight with the local kids. His gigai had proved useful and he was thankful that the bone mask wasn't on his face in that form - he would have scared people. Sighing, he hung his head. He was in his spirit form now, his gigai dumped somewhere nearby in case he needed it later. He had thourougly enjoyed himself and knew that he would have to return to Hueco Mundo at some point, but not yet. Not yet.  
"There you are, you worthless trash." The cold, familiar voice of Ulquiorra crept up behind him. Grimmjow gave an weak wave without looking in his direction. "Aizen wants you back." There was no response. "Did you hear me?" The fourth Espada's voice grew dangerously low.  
"I wish I could have seen winter when I was alive." Grimmjow stated sadly.  
"I have no time for your stories."  
"When I was alive I was always locked in the dark. I saw the summer once and thought that it was quite spectacular. I never saw winter. I always wanted to know what snow felt like against your hands. It's quite cold." Grimmjow laughed quietly at his last remark. "Everyone seems to have so much fun in winter. I wish I had had that as a child. Maybe then I wouldn't have turned out so bad. It...wasn't my fault." The blue-haired Espada bit his lip as he held back tears. It was weak to cry, but the thoughts of his human life upset him and brought back memories so filled with pain. "Maybe if I had been allowed to live...I wouldn't have killed them all. I could have lived a normal, peaceful life. I regret it every day." The tears were flowing freely now, and Grimmjow hardly cared if Ulquiorra could see him crying. He held so much regret in his heart, so much sadness and remorse. He hadn't wanted to kill those men so many years ago. He hadn't wanted to become a hollow. He was lost, so very lost. He avoided the Soul Reapers because he didn't want to go to Hell - he didn't deserve it. "I don't deserve to be treated like the other murderers. I only did it because they told me to. I promise." Grimmjow was breaking down, something that was never seen amongst Espada, it was looked down upon. Right now Ulquiorra was looking down on the inferior Espada, his head turned away so that he did not have to witness such an open display of emotion. "Don't make me go back to Hueco Mundo..." He whispered.  
"We're leaving. Now. Don't argue." Ulquiorra growled threateningly.  
"Fine." Grimmjow moved reluctantly, stiffly, wiping the tears from his face. He was sick of the life he was living. He would rather become nothing.

"Hey, little kitty. What are you doing? Trying to claw your way out?" a mocking voice laughed from the darkness. He had heard the unseen door creak open and closed, and so assumed dinner had been brought down. A torch was lit and placed in its holder on the wall. The man with the mocking voice was slim and weedy with long red hair and a pale, horse-like nose was crooked and his mouth was missing at least half of its teeth - the others were on their way as they were yellowed and rotting. His breath stank like decaying food. "Little Kitty, you know you can't escape."  
"I-I..." The blue-haired child was shaking in fear as the weedy man cam closer.  
"Trying to break your way through the wall? Did you think we wouldn't notice? Little boys like you should be punished, shouldn't you?"  
"N-yes." The child lowered his eyes, too scared to meet the green orbs of his captor.  
"Good boy. Now, little Grimmjow. Shall we go see the Master?" Grimmjow merely nodded in response as the man picked him up and carried him from the room, after all, the child was no more than six and still rather small.

The beatings were what he feared most. After visiting the faceless Master he had received five strokes of the cricket bat and three kicks to the gut. As he was only small, the punishment was not as great as the other children for they were older and able to take more. It had seemed like years, the punishment room was always so frightening that time seemed to move at a snails pace. He had been thrown back into the room with the others, the hole in the wall had been resealed, and now Grimmjow had no hope of escape. As soon as the creaky door closed, he burst into tears.  
"It's ok, Grimmjow. It's over now." The calming voice of a young, black haired man was heard as he crept closer to the sobbing child and held him in his arms. "They're gone now. They're not coming back until the moring. You're safe." He repeated these calming words until the little boy fell fast asleep, his worries forgotten in dreams.

Grimmjow shuddered as the portal to Hueco Mundo opened. He wondered what had triggered that little flashback. Perhaps it was because Ulquiorra looked similar to the man he was so close to.

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**Poor little Grimmy. I can't give everything away in one chapter, so more is to be revealed later on /spooky arms**


	7. Even the dead can die

**WARNING: IMPLIED CHARACTER DEATH.**

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"So, why did Aizen need me here?" Grimmjow growled, irritated by his return to Hueco Mundo.

"I don't know." Ulquiorra replied bluntly, his pace quickening as he led the skulking Espada to Aizen's throne room. The great doors opened by some supernatural force, revealing the leader of the Espada on his high, stone throne – a seat as cold as he was. The two Espada knelt obediently before their king, awaiting his orders. Their heads bowed, they could not see the look of confusion that crossed Aizen's face.

"Why are you here?" He asked.

"You told me that you needed Grimmjow here, I have brought him to you, Aizen-sama." Ulquiorra stated.

"I needed him in Hueco Mundo, that's all. I am uncomfortable with his frequent visits to the human world." Aizen turned his gaze to the kneeling form of Grimmjow. "I merely wanted to keep an eye on him." He paused as he placed his hand neatly under his chin. "Leave now. I have no use for either of you at the moment." With his free hand, Aizen waved them off, and the two Espada obeyed his orders, nodding their heads towards him in acknowledgement of his orders. The great doors closed behind them silently as they continued down the long, white corridors in silence.

"He didn't need me after all." Grimmjow stated bitterly. Enraged, he turned down the corridor sharply, leaving Ulquiorra alone. The dark haired Espada cared little for the disappearance of his companion; he found the blue-haired man to be somewhat irritating as it was. There were more pressing matters for him to attend to, and babysitting the lower ranking Espada was certainly not one of them.

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Returning to his room, Ulquiorra began to pace, letting himself fall deep into thought. His mind was set on the young woman he had been watching lately and he had been unable to stop his thoughts from switching to her. He had tried incredibly hard to stop, to get her out of his head, but he couldn't. It was almost as if he didn't want to let go of her, as if he wanted her to be in his every thought. He was reminded of the warm feeling he had had the other day, his hand reached for his chest once more, the reaction instinctive as he sought to protect himself. That feeling had only occurred when he was around her, and it made him wonder -what was he feeling? Confused, he paced faster. He always understood his feelings, always trapped his emotions, and yet here was something entirely new to him – something he had never felt before. His lack of understanding infuriated him; he had to know what this feeling was. Tired of pacing, he sat on his bed, attempting to figure out exactly what he had to do. Perhaps he should go back. Maybe that would solve the question of which emotions he felt.

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Grimmjow was alone in his room, the pure white walls and furniture was enough to drive anyone mad, and Grimmjow had started to feel it. He couldn't cope with life as an Espada, the stress and rules were too much for him to live by. He wasn't the type to take orders and obey them; he knew that even when he first joined the Espada...when he killed his friends and ate them. He shuddered at the cannibalistic memory. In his right hand he held a knife; its hilt covered in small rubies the colour of fresh running blood. The blade was sleek and silver, the metal glinting in the blindingly white room. He smiled sadly at the blade, his eyes filled with sorrow. He had no one in this world, just as he had had no one in the other world. "Oh happy dagger." He whispered, his voice trembling slightly as he lifted it to the flesh just above the gaping hole in his lower abdomen. Without a word, he plunged it deep inside of him, his eyes squinting with the pain that flooded through his body. Pained and dying tears dripped down his face as he double over, the dagger still deep inside. Falling to his knees, he collapsed on his side, the blood pouring from his body as he removed the dagger from his torso. Placing a hand over the wound he felt the blood flow through them, like a river breaking down a dam. He smiled as he felt the life leave him, and with his last dying thoughts his memory switched back to the days he spent trapped inside that cold room with the dark haired boy...

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"_Grimmjow. Grimmjow, get up." A small voice roused him from sleep and slowly, Grimmjow opened his weary eyes. The dark haired boy, his friend and only companion was standing over him, his eyes eager and excited. "We found a way out, Grimmjow. We found a way to be free." The blue haired boy suddenly gained interest in the situation and sat up - intrigued. _

"_How?" He asked, his voice filled with wonder._

"_The hole you dug in the wall...we all worked on it to try and get the tunnel back. It worked. We want you to go through first as you're the one who built it." _

"_Are you serious, Mikhail? You're not tricking me, are you?" Grimmjow's voice became suspicious as Mikhail pulled him up and out of his bed of rags. _

"_I promise you." Mikhail dragged Grimmjow along the dark, cold room and towards the tunnel. "See. It's ready for us all to escape with. We can all be free." Grimmjow smiled at the words of his friend. The other prisoners were gathered around the tunnel, eagerly awaiting Grimmjow's ascent to the world above. "Perhaps," Mikhail ventured, "we shall see winter." The awe and hope was clear in his voice as he stared up at the inky darkness of the tunnel. Abandoning his thoughts, he turned to Grimmjow. "Go now, we haven't much time. We'll follow you." The dark haired boy gave Grimmjow a boost up the tunnel and watched as he climbed until he vanished from sight. _

_As Grimmjow climbed the tunnel he could swear that he was able to smell fresh air – or at least what he believed to be fresh air. Inhaling deep breaths he quickened his ascent, the excitement growing and the joy overwhelming. It was only when he started to hear screams that he froze. He couldn't look back, but he could hear the other prisoners screaming for help and mercy, the familiar clank of metal hitting walls and other metallic objects echoed through the narrow tunnel. The child began to shake, rooted to the spot and unable to move any further. He could hear scratching as the other attempted to climb the tunnel, but their desperate attempts were thwarted when the guard grabbed their feet and pulled them back. Grimmjow heard them splutter s knives were driven through their throats and guts, silencing them for an eternity. He began to whisper desperate prayers to someone he did not know as the slaughter stopped. Squeezing his eyes closed, he begged for them not to find him. _

"_Where's the blue-haired one?" One of the guards spat as he searched for his missing prisoner._

"_Do you think he got up the tunnel?" Another asked._

"_Only one way to find out." The scratching noise began again, and Grimmjow knew the guard was coming for him. He urged his body to move, tried to convince it to keep going, but it would not listen to him. The scratching and shuffling became louder as the guard neared his location half way up the tunnel. Grimmjow began to cry silent tears as he felt his doom approaching. His body had given up and the fight was over. There was nothing left except surrender. The heavy, murderous breath of the guard filled the tunnel, blood and murder filling the air that surrounded them. "Found you." The guard growled as he grabbed Grimmjow's foot. The little boy screamed as he was dragged down the tunnel, the hard dirt scratching his stomach as his shirt rode up his torso. He could smell the blood below him and he was afraid._** I don't want to die. **_The men dragged him down and never did the little boy see winter._

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He wasn't afraid anymore. The blood continued to flow from his open wound and stain the perfectly white floor. The contrast was stunning, like a piece of living art. His blood still felt warm on his fingers as it trickled through the gaps. He wasn't afraid. Even the dead can die.

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**Even I wasn't expecting that. Is Grimmjow dead? Could it be true? Will Ulquiorra be able to figure out what thee strange emotions are? Find out next chapter...**


	8. Coming to terms with it

**So, Ulquiorra has decided to take action. I'm not sure what he thinks he's doing...**

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The day was cold, as every day so far had been. The wind whispered through frozen branches, tormenting them with its freedom to move. Birds wept as they tried desperately to build nests that would protect them from the cold – to no avail. The streets were empty of their usual bulge of people; the roads free from the noise and pollution of cars for the roads were covered in a thick layer of ice. Snowmen stood abandoned in the park, an army of still and silent warriors who waited only for death. Amongst the weary army there sat a girl, a young woman who wept silently, her hair blowing over her face in the laughing wind. Her hands wiped her eyes hurriedly, destroying all evidence of her weakness. She had to be strong. Her now trouser-covered legs shook a little in the cold and in an attempt to keep warm she placed her hands under her arms.

"I know you're here. There's no use hiding." She whispered to the empty air.

"I wasn't hiding." A cold voice responded as it moved from the shadows and closer towards her.

"Then what were you doing?" She could feel the figure move to stand behind her, but she dared not look up.

"Watching." The response was blunt, emotionless.

"That doesn't sound creepy at all." She said sarcastically, her voice betraying her nervousness. "Why are you here?"

"It's not to hurt you."

"You didn't answer my question." She looked up. Beside her stood a tall, pale man with hair darker than the night itself. His eyes were like emeralds, the perfect to his pale complexion and dark hair. She inhaled sharply. She felt as though she knew this man, as though she had known him all her life. His white clothing almost made him camouflaged against the snow. He did not look at her, but she knew that he could see her.

"I don't know." The statement was confident, despite him knowing exactly why he was in her presence. He had come to determine his feelings, to try and figure out what it was that burned his chest and caused his heart to ache.

"You're lying." His body froze at her words, and for the first time he looked down at her, his face blank, but panic lay behind his large, green eyes. "Are you the one who's been watching me? I've felt eyes on my back for several days now. Are you the one?" She repeated her question. The young woman wasn't angry, or at least, she didn't appear so. Instead, she was curious, intrigued, and it made Ulquiorra uncomfortable. His only response was to nod. "I see." She paused for a moment, thoughtful. "Do you...like me?" She asked, her eyes still holding that same curiosity. The tall, pale man didn't respond, he merely stood there, still and quiet. When there was no response she spoke again, "Do you love me?" Ulquiorra thought for a moment. Love. He had never truly understood the word or the emotion. He wondered if perhaps the burning in his chest was a symptom of this strange feeling. He took a glance at her, observing her features – it made his heart flutter. His eyes widened momentarily. Something was definitely wrong with him. It would be an idea for him to visit Syzal – even if he was a psychopath. Without another word to the young woman beside him, he turned around and walked away. Leaving her confused and wondering.

"Syzal, I think I'm sick." Ulquiorra walked into Syzal's lab, his cold eyes demanding the attention of the psychotic scientist. The pink haired Espada raised an eyebrow curiously as the fourth Espada stood before him.

"Why do you think that?" He asked, already losing interest.

"I have a...burning in my chest, a flutter in my heart and my thoughts are only able to focus on one thing." Despite his efforts to appear perfectly calm, Syzal caught the glimmer of fear that swept across Ulquiorra's eyes. The scientist laughed and patted the superior Espada on the shoulder.

"You're not sick." He chuckled. "Unless you call being in love an illness." Syzal laughed harder. "Imagine that! The cold and emotionless Ulquiorra is in love!" He continued to laugh, trying incredibly hard to stop himself, which he eventually managed. Wiping the last tears away from his eyes he looked up at his fellow Espada. "So, tell me who it is. Man? Woman? Espada? I have to know!"

"I'm not in love." He growled. Pushing Syzal away from him he stormed out of the lab, infuriated by the diagnosis. He wondered in perhaps Grimmjow would have a better answer. As he walked towards the room of the blue haired Espada, he realized what a ridiculous thing it would be for him to go and ask Grimmjow for advice. In fact, he didn't need advice from anyone. It was foolish enough for him to go and see Syzal. He growled angrily as he walked away from Grimmjow's room and towards his own. _I'm not in love._ He yelled within his mind. Syzal had obviously diagnosed him incorrectly. That had to be it.

He stood alone, the moon illuminating Akane's home. Inside, lights were on, glowing faintly behind drawn curtains. From his position he could see her bedroom window, the curtains only partially closed. In his pallid hand he held a rose, its petals white and pure. He twisted the stem between his finger and thumb, battling the emotions that were threatening to rise. He walked towards the front door, rose in hand and placed it before the front door, the thorns plucked from the stem. This would be the last time he would see her, he could not risk losing himself in lust for a woman he barely knew. He had often been told that love was a dangerous thing, and for a man who had never experienced it the danger levels rose. He turned his back on the house and made his way back through the deserted town and its icy roads. Dragging his feet behind him he prepared to return to Hueco Mundo – the world in which he belonged.


	9. Between the snowmen

Ulquiorra found Grimmjow later that day, lying on the floor covered in his own blood. A dagger with a ruby covered blade lying in his slack grasp. The life had left him; his body lay still, the blood was drying on the floor. The pale Espada stood over the body of his former comrade, wondering what had caused him to actually harm himself to such an extent. He didn't care much for the inferior warrior, but he couldn't help but feel somewhat curious as to why he had killed himself.

"Nobody cared." The voice surprised Ulquiorra; he hadn't heard the first Espada walk up behind him. He turned around to face the most powerful in their ranks and saw a slip of paper in his hand. "That's what Grimmjow wrote before he killed himself." Stark yawned deeply. "Strange for him, I have to say. I always thought he was as cold and heartless as you." Ulquiorra made no response in either voice or expression; he merely looked at the note.

"Coward." He said at last, dismissing the note in Stark's hand. As Ulquiorra walked out of the room, Stark's voice stopped him.

"At least he acted on his feelings. It's more cowardly to ignore how you feel than to take action." The First Espada looked down at Grimmjow. "We had better get him out of here and find a suitable replacement." Stark spoke without emotion as he left the room and went to find some help with lifting the former Espada. Once he had left, Ulquiorra took one look behind his shoulder, eyeing Grimmjow suspiciously, half expecting him to get up. He didn't. The pale man left swiftly, turning the corner as he exited the room.

* * *

Akane awoke to the warmth of the sun on her face. She hadn't fully drawn the curtains and so allowed rays of sunlight to enter her bedroom. With a loud, idle yawn she rose from her bed and stretched her arms above her head. Her mind drifted to the encounter with the strange man the previous day. He had been attractive, a little older than herself and strangely intriguing. There was something about him that had drawn her in. She knew she should have felt afraid, but she hadn't. She had been strangely at peace with the stranger. As she got out of bed and fumbled for her clothing, she wondered if she might meet the man again, if he might find her in the empty fields of snow. After fastening her jeans, she went to brush her teeth, her mind still on the pallid man, still questioning his presence. After rinsing her mouth out with cool water, she hopped down the stairs, eager to get out and wait for the mysterious stranger. She wondered if he would even be there, waiting in the cold dawn. Wrapping a scarf around her slender neck, she called a hurried farewell to her parents before running out of the house. As she stepped out of the front door a white object caught her eye. Bending over, she picked the white rose up with exaggerated delicacy and examined it. She wondered if it was from him. Hoping that it was she raced down the icy streets and back towards the park of soulless soldiers. She nestled herself in between two tall snowmen, their coal eyes gazing out at some unseen destination. She cupped her hands, breathing warm breath into them in an attempt to keep warm. She waited.

* * *

Ulquiorra was unsure as to why he was doing this, why he was going to see her. Even if he were to confess his feelings they could never be together – he was dead. It sickened him to be in a gigai, he couldn't stand feeling trapped inside a false body. Shoving his hands into the pockets of his thick winter coat he continued down the icy streets and towards the army of snowmen. As he approached the eerie lines, he wondered if Grimmjow had made any of the hopeless soldiers and if so, which ones. Stark had dumped his body out in the desert to be eaten by Hollow, to find a new replacement for him. The primitive sight had sickened him – to see such carnage and creatures' stooping to such low levels was something he did not take pleasure in watching such things. That is why he was back in the human world, to escape what was occurring back in Hueco Mundo. As he walked amongst the snowmen, he caught sight of a figure sitting between two, breathing into her hands for warmth, a white rose balanced delicately on her knee. It was with caution that he approached, and as he did so she looked up, joy clear on her face.

"I knew you'd come back." She smiled. Ulquiorra made no response. "You never answered my question. Do you love me?"

"Love is a strong word." Ulquiorra stated - his tone monosyllabic.

"Well, I have only known you a day, but you've been watching me for longer." She mused.

"I have been observing you for a week. Perhaps less." He wondered why he was even here, talking to a woman that he hardly knew. She was a human. They were cruel, uncaring creatures.

"You have sad eyes." He was taken from his thoughts by her comment. He looked at her quizzically. "Why are they so filled with pain?" He growled at her words, he felt nothing. That's what made him such a fantastic killer – his lack of emotion. He decided to leave her question unanswered, perhaps she would stop speaking. It turned out that she was relentless. "Why did you come back?"

"I don't know."

"You're a very cold person, aren't you?" Ulquiorra was silent once more. "Why the barrier?"

"You ask a lot of questions."

"I'm curious about you. Especially after you left me a flower." She held up the rose and the dark haired man looked, recognising it and acknowledging its existence. "You're not much of a talker." She observed, placing the flower on the ground beside her. "What's your name?"

"Ulquiorra."

"I'm Akane. It's nice to meet you." Ulquiorra nodded in response, his eyes gazing across the snowy ground. The young woman frowned. "If you're not going to talk, I might as well leave." As she spoke, the fourth Espada sat on the ground beside her. It was cold, he didn't approve of that. The cold made him shiver. Embarrassed by the reaction he averted his gaze and focused on the body of the snowman. "You're an odd man, Ulquiorra." He grunted in response. "Well, at least you acknowledge that I'm talking to you." She decided, though obviously displeased by his lack of speech. "Do you drink coffee?"

"I've never had it."

"Would you like to have some with me tomorrow after school?" He took a moment, pondering the situation. It was a bad idea to get involved with humans, especially females. It was dangerous territory, but wasn't he known for being dangerous himself? He frowned as he contemplated the offer. Part of him urged him to go.

"Perhaps."

"I'll be at the coffee shop across the road at four thirty tomorrow afternoon. I'll wait until five. If you come, you come." She rose from her seat, the rose in her hand once more. "I have to leave; I have things to do today. It was nice seeing you again, Ulquiorra." She waved at him before jogging down the hill and towards the road back home.

* * *

**I really am sorry about Grimmjow. We haven't seen the last of him though, I promise. However, Ulquiorra seems to be treading on foreign ground here. Do you think He'll be alright?**

**This fic is nearly over. Only a few more chapters to go. I am not sure how long this one will be, but I'm going to work really hard to get this done for all you fantastic, loyal readers. **


	10. Coffee for two

**Another little chapter for you all.**

* * *

Akane glanced at her watch. It read 16:45. She had been waiting for Ulquiorra to arrive for fifteen minutes, and despite saying that she would wait for thirty minutes, she was starting to believe that he would never come. Resting her head on the top on her feminine and delicate hand she gazed out of the window, watching new snowflakes fall to the ground, settling on the thick layers of old snow. She sighed heavily, her face sullen as she continued to wait and hope.

* * *

"Looks to me like you're gaining something called emotion, Ulquiorra." The voice was irritatingly familiar. Ulquiorra turned, surprised by who was behind him.

"Is it your plan to haunt me?" The dark haired man asked bitterly.

"No, I'll be moving on soon enough." The knife wound was still visible on the ghost of Grimmjow. "Personally, I can't understand how ghosts can have ghosts, but apparently they can." The tall man looked down at his toes, wiggling them as if to prove to himself that he existed.

"Leave me." Ulquiorra ordered.

"Look, Ulquiorra. I don't like you very much, you don't like me – we know that. But that girl likes you and you quite obviously return the feeling. You've made yourself out to be this cold, emotionless being who feels nothing. I know that isn't true. I saw you look back at my corpse, you couldn't quite believe it. I also know that if you didn't care about that human girl you wouldn't have gone to see her yesterday." Grimmjow grinned smugly, pleased with himself. "How can you move on with your afterlife when your previous life still haunts you?" Ulquiorra froze, his anger rising. "I see I hit a nerve." Grimmjow growled, leaning against the wall of the fourth Espada's room. Ulquiorra turned, his hand outstretched in an attempt to kill the spectre that taunted him. "That's not going to work. I can't be touched." With an irritated growl Ulquiorra lowered his hand before moving towards Grimmjow. He shoved his hand towards the blue haired man's chest only to find that it shot straight through. "As I said - no point."

"Leave me alone, you worthless trash."

"Oooo, touchy." The dead man snorted. "However, I can't leave you until you promise me you'll go see that girl. Even if it's to tell her that you can never see her again, go to her."

"If I do that, will you leave me?"

"Yes."

"Then I'll go." Ulquiorra sounded displeased by the result, but it meant that the ghost of Grimmjow's ghost would at least stop bothering him.

"Goodbye, number four." The blue haired ghost began to fade, his whole body vanishing until there was nothing left but the room in which Ulquiorra slept. The pale man growled angrily as he left his room and headed towards the portal that led to the human world.

* * *

16:59. Akane rose from her seat, disappointed and upset. She had been stood up, and although she had been half expecting him not to show, the disappointment was crippling. She brushed her skirt down and straightened it a little, removing the creases caused by sitting for a prolonged period of time. After adjusting her shirt, she went to pick up her bag, her face carrying an expression of anguish. It was only when she looked up that she had seen the pallid man from the previous day - their eyes met. "You came..." She trailed off, her surprise evident.

"Yes, I did."

"Uh, please, sit down." Hastily, she threw her bag back down onto the floor before resuming her seat. Ulquiorra took his opposite her, his gaze avoiding hers. He felt uncomfortable in such a social situation. "Well," she began. "How are you, Ulquiorra?" He was surprised that she remembered his name.

"I'm well." He paused. "Thank you." He supposed that she expected him to ask after her and so proceeded to ask how she was.

"I'm great, thank you. I had a good day at school, didn't get much homework and now I'm ready to relax." She grinned. It was more information than the Espada had expected or wanted. He merely nodded in response. "Do you work or go to school?" She inquired. He wasn't sure how to answer that one; it was certainly a question he had hoped to avoid.

"I," He paused to think. "I am homeschooled." It was a thick lie, he should have told her he worked.

"That's interesting. Do you have many friends then?"

"No."

"I hear that's common in homeschooling." He made no reply. "Do you want a coffee?" She offered. "Considering we're in a coffee shop."

"No, thank you."

"Is there anything you want?"

"No."

"Alright then, I'll be right back."

She returned with a cup of thick and steaming coffee, the bitter odour of coffee beans surrounding them both. He watched as she poured sugar and milk into it, something to take away the heat and bitter taste. Using a long, thin wooden stick she stirred her added ingredients into the brew, the steam swirling around the stick as if in an attempt to grab it. She spoke to him for over an hour, with him making the occasional brief response to her continuous chatter. Her talking had irritated him when he first met her, but as she continued to speak he grew less annoyed by the sound of her voice. He wondered why, why she had become a less irritating human being. Perhaps Syzal had been right about his feelings, perhaps this was what they called love. Regardless of what it was, there would be no chance of him admitting such things either to himself or others.

* * *

Months passed. The snow melted away, releasing its grasp on the frozen grass, allowing it to thaw and absorb the sun's rays once more. The grass breathed, the sun poured new life into the formerly barren earth. Dark clouds formed like oppressive rulers of the sky and let rain fall from their heavy sacks of water. Plants and trees drank the rain greedily, gulping it down with every rainfall. Animals dragged themselves from long winter sleeps and out into the sun to find fresh and delicious foods. Birds sang harmonious tunes, alerting the world that the winter was over and spring had finally arrived. Amidst the rain and sun two people stood - an Espada and a human, a man and a woman. The sun tried to punish his pale skin, attempted to dye it a bright and ghastly red, but it was not able. The girl shaded herself from the sun's cruel rays with a baseball cap, the front protecting her eyes and face. Nearly every day, they stood there. Where the snowmen had once been and the flowers now grow. They would drink cups of cool and icy lemonade when the sun heated the ground and air, but when the rain poured down in angry rivers they would sit under the shade of the great Oak tree and drink steaming coffee from thick polystyrene cups. There was a certain change about the pallid man, something in his eyes were different. There was joy behind the cold and emotionless mask that he wore. There was joy, and there was peace.


	11. Emotion

**The story is coming to its end. After this here'll be one last chapter, so enjoy this little bit before the end. **

* * *

_Seven months later_

Hueco Mundo was the home of evil, where darkness lurked around every corner, waiting with hungry eyes and cruel, demonic smiles. The air stank of damned souls; the still wind carried their screaming voices across desolate plains of despair. Those that ruled the bitter domain were soulless, cruel creatures that bore no regard for the lives and feelings of others. That was what the Espada were told they were, and that's what they believed themselves to be. Until now. Until Ulquiorra, one of the most powerful Espada realized that he had started to feel emotion, that he had started to care about how the young woman he had started having coffee with actually felt. The feeling of joy that encased him was a dangerous drug, one that caused him to lose track of the way he thought, to break out of his well established character – one that was cold and unfeeling. He was careful around his fellow Espada, and even more cautious around Aizen and his goons. If any of them found out about his sudden change in emotion or discovered Akane, there would be trouble far greater than he could cope with. It would likely end with his death.

_"She's in danger." _The voice whispered quietly in Ulquiorra's ears. He froze, chilled by the voice. _"She needs you." _The Espada scanned the halls cautiously, trying to find the source of the voice.

"Who is in danger?" He practically whispered the words, hoping that he hadn't gone insane.

_"She is in danger." _The voice spoke again, quieter this time. Ulquiorra frowned, not appreciating the lack of definition on who 'she' was.

"Who?" He asked again, a little louder and more impatient than last time. The response was just as annoyed.

_"Jeez, Ulquiorra, I worked hard on sounding ominous and you can't even get what I'm saying?" _Grimmjow had returned, except this time he was in Ulquiorra's mind.

"What are you doing here, trash?" The pale man's voice was cold and angry.

_"I'm warning you. Akane is in danger and you need to help her. If you don't...she dies."_

"Why are you doing this?" Ulquiorra growled. "Why do you feel such a need to bring me so close to some stinking human? Why do you want me to help her?" His voice remained cool and irritated as he spoke.

_"Huh, well, I thought you'd grown attached to that woman, you've been spending a lot of time with her after all. It's only natural to think you had feelings for her." _ Grimmjow paused a moment. _"I can see you don't really care. I won't bother telling you that Aizen found out about your little friend and plans on...well...killing her, to put it bluntly." _Ulquiorra clenched his jaw, cursing the sudden need to go and rescue the young woman.

"When?" Was all the pallid Espada could ask.

_"Tonight." _

"I don't understand why you're helping me." There was little emotion in his tone.

_"A chance for forgiveness. By helping you, there is a chance that I'll get into heaven. That and I've never seen you anything except sulky until this woman came along. Everyone deserves a chance at happiness." _Ulquiorra frowned. _"Anyway, you better prepare to go save your girl. I'll see you around, Ulquiorra." _Before the fifth Espada could respond, Grimmjow had left his mind, abandoning him in the hall. The young man stood for a moment, thinking.

The past few months had been a blur to Ulquiorra. It was a race of emotions, a change in feelings, an immense feeling of passion and desire. It was something that he had never thought possible before. He had always been so careful to detach himself from other, to suppress any emotion that he felt deep in the pit of his soul, trapped like the Titans on Tartarus. But this woman, Akane, had changed everything. Her scent, her movements and the way she talked and always gave more information than was necessary. All these things made Ulquiorra happy. At first the feeling had confused him, for he had never felt truly happy. As time passed, however, he began to grow accustomed to the emotion, to the light feeling in his stomach and the smile that always threatened to spread across his face. He knew that the feeling was happiness and he accepted it as such. It was out of character for him to so freely express this to someone else, but Akane felt like the piece of his life that had been missing for his eternal existence and it made him want to show how...appreciative he was. Expressing joy and pleasure seemed a small price to pay for her company. Now everything he had held close was at risk of being lost. The thought physically hurt him, like a knife in his chest. He couldn't let Aizen hurt her. He couldn't lose what he had only just found. He liked the feeling of happiness, he liked being around her. He wasn't going to let it go without a fight.

* * *

**R&R appreciated. Coming up: The final chapter.**


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